Need to pull out that denim jumper...

So, I am attending my very first homeschool event today. I do not know many homeschoolers who are normal, save for my high school friend, Barbie. I know there are many who are still cool, but whenever I meet one they seem to be a bit off.
When we went to Gymboree last week, I met a homeschooling woman with her five kids...wearing- a bonnet and a prairie type dress. So, needless to say I am a bit curious to see if I will fit in. I do not own a denim jumper or a modest...anything. Nor will I. EVER.
It is like high school all over again, although I don't even know if I want to fit into the crowd. I am going for Aidan, not for myself. It just seems a bit surreal... I always thought of myself as someone who would drop her children off at school, grab a Starbucks, and have a bit of a break at home or at a job.
Now, my days are nothing like that. They are NEVER quiet. Preston has decided napping is no longer for him and likes to make as much noise as possible as I try to teach Aidan about space, Hammurabi, and how to become a better reader. I wake up, spend all day with them, and then crash after they go to sleep.
I often wonder how much I am helping versus how much I am losing my mind. I KNOW that our public school is not the answer, but sometimes as my patience is wearing thin I question my decision.
I miss going to school, having a life, having conversations with people. Now I talk to my children, sometimes my mom, my husband, and my sis. I do not know a lot of people, do not get out often enough, and have become Mommy. Not Eva....just Mommy. Mommy. MOMMMY!!!! He took my toy, MOMMMMMY!
Don't get me wrong, I have good and bad moments. When I see the boys play nicely, when I experience them having fun, learning, being silly I love it. I guess some days I am so tired. I miss being Eva.
Unfortunately, making any friends at a homeschool group won't cure that. There, I will just be Aidan and Preston's Mommy. Perhaps I'll grab a Starbucks on the way. And some earplugs.